Modernity in its worst form
What is romance exactly? Thinking on these terms confuses many. Well if you ask me any one can romance even a ninety year old can also romance. The dictionary says its to be “an emotional attraction”. Is it so? Then can a ninety year old man get attracted to anyone in the last days of this life? Yes he can but not to all but to his wife and only to her.
That’s true love. You must be able to love that person and feel attracted not to the physical beauty of the person but to their inner beauty, their nature, his or her character. That will last forever and ever. This reminds me of a forward e-mail which I had read few days back. There was a couple the female asked what do you love in me? The male replied I love you as a whole for what you are. The female said you don’t like me smile, my voice, my face? And she went on and on. The male just laughed and they left. That day the female met with an accident and was admitted in the hospital, she was in coma. The man wrote a slip by her side with tears in his eyes. “Now I can’t hear your voice, neither can I see your smile, but dear I still love you and hope that one day you will give me all that back”. Now that’s love and a true sort.
Romancing now a days has become on the surface level. That is mostly physical, are we going towards the primitive ages of animal life? The western culture does that, sleep with anyone they feel like it for the day. But is our Indian culture so? I don’t think so. Youngsters must feel this fact. India in the name of aping western culture is heading towards a life of an animal. Is this for any good? You can imagine a world of apes where any ape can mate with any other ape.
Now what should be done to stop this kind of an attitude in the youngsters? Is your next question right? Coming to it, I agree there is such a problem persisting in our country. I feel the following are the reasons for it. In the age old days women were married at a very young age and so there was no sort of craving for them for a male company as they get it at a very early age. That’s point number one. While the marriageable age of men also has enormously changed. Men get married after the age of 30 that is very good in few aspects I agree; because they feel that they have to settle in their career to settle in life. This leads to having some fun (the so called) before they can settle in life. Then the so called love, youngsters feeling attracted towards their opposite sex is quite common in teen age. But they go to the extreme of having a physical relationship with them, which worsens the case. The next is lack of care at home. Today’s word is very competitive and most of families have the spouses working to have a comfortable life. That leads to less care at home to the children. The child be it a teenager or a grown up feels left out and longs for a company, especially when the child has no siblings. Then the modern, “live-in relationship”, which is of course, the worst form of westernization. These are the facts, which lead to the horrible trouble in our society.
The solutions to it, of course it needs more attention from all of us. Its not one person who had brought freedom to our country it was a team work wasn’t it? Like wise what we need here is a team work. Or else the place where we are heading to is very dreadful. Let’s deal with all the above mentioned problems one by one. The first issue to be solved late marriage. Now this problem is growing steadily as we become more and more career oriented. Yes youngsters must be career oriented for sure. But to wait for them to get settled or achieve big and then look out for a life partner becomes too late. You can achieve even when you are married, may be your spouse could also contribute to your whooping success. Having a girl friend or boy friend for company sake is nothing wrong, but exceeding your limits with that girl\guy that is physical relationship with her/him is not the meaning of friendship. Either the person must get married to the same person or must be in love with him/her. Just for the sake of physical relationship having the so called girl\boy friend is bad in my opinion. I hope most of you will agree with me.
Crush is different from love. This differentiation should be brought about. What makes the difference? When you feel attracted towards a person that’s crush, or feel that the physic of that person is good and wish that you could do something with that person is crush or infatuation, which would disappear as you find another person better than the one you saw initially. While, when you are in love, you will be ready to do anything for this person. Like the story I told in the beginning, you will be able to love that person even if he\she is not in a position to reciprocate to your love.
Lack of care at home from parents, today’s demanding world requires both the husband and wife to work, yes true, but some how the parents should find time to talk to their kids, this talk is needed specially when the kid is a teenager, an age, when the child longs for, a good company. If that proves to be their mother or father it would prove to be great to the kid. When the kid is a teenager the parent should become their friend not a foe. This would change most of the pathetic situation of the teenagers in our country.
The last problem to be solved is the live-in system which is spreading like a canker in our country. This kind of system has its own flaws. Both the partners feel insecure about their relationship. They can’t have a proper family due to this fear in them. This kind of relationship just gives them a license to have sex nothing more than that. Any time they can part or looking on the positive aspect can even get married falling in love in the later stages. But in most of the cases the later doesn’t happen. I feel that youngsters who opt for such a living must think twice and only if they have ideas to get married to that person with whom they are gonna live with should they go for it.
Well these are the solutions which I could think of. If you have any do put in your thoughts in the comments section. See you folks.
That’s true love. You must be able to love that person and feel attracted not to the physical beauty of the person but to their inner beauty, their nature, his or her character. That will last forever and ever. This reminds me of a forward e-mail which I had read few days back. There was a couple the female asked what do you love in me? The male replied I love you as a whole for what you are. The female said you don’t like me smile, my voice, my face? And she went on and on. The male just laughed and they left. That day the female met with an accident and was admitted in the hospital, she was in coma. The man wrote a slip by her side with tears in his eyes. “Now I can’t hear your voice, neither can I see your smile, but dear I still love you and hope that one day you will give me all that back”. Now that’s love and a true sort.
Romancing now a days has become on the surface level. That is mostly physical, are we going towards the primitive ages of animal life? The western culture does that, sleep with anyone they feel like it for the day. But is our Indian culture so? I don’t think so. Youngsters must feel this fact. India in the name of aping western culture is heading towards a life of an animal. Is this for any good? You can imagine a world of apes where any ape can mate with any other ape.
Now what should be done to stop this kind of an attitude in the youngsters? Is your next question right? Coming to it, I agree there is such a problem persisting in our country. I feel the following are the reasons for it. In the age old days women were married at a very young age and so there was no sort of craving for them for a male company as they get it at a very early age. That’s point number one. While the marriageable age of men also has enormously changed. Men get married after the age of 30 that is very good in few aspects I agree; because they feel that they have to settle in their career to settle in life. This leads to having some fun (the so called) before they can settle in life. Then the so called love, youngsters feeling attracted towards their opposite sex is quite common in teen age. But they go to the extreme of having a physical relationship with them, which worsens the case. The next is lack of care at home. Today’s word is very competitive and most of families have the spouses working to have a comfortable life. That leads to less care at home to the children. The child be it a teenager or a grown up feels left out and longs for a company, especially when the child has no siblings. Then the modern, “live-in relationship”, which is of course, the worst form of westernization. These are the facts, which lead to the horrible trouble in our society.
The solutions to it, of course it needs more attention from all of us. Its not one person who had brought freedom to our country it was a team work wasn’t it? Like wise what we need here is a team work. Or else the place where we are heading to is very dreadful. Let’s deal with all the above mentioned problems one by one. The first issue to be solved late marriage. Now this problem is growing steadily as we become more and more career oriented. Yes youngsters must be career oriented for sure. But to wait for them to get settled or achieve big and then look out for a life partner becomes too late. You can achieve even when you are married, may be your spouse could also contribute to your whooping success. Having a girl friend or boy friend for company sake is nothing wrong, but exceeding your limits with that girl\guy that is physical relationship with her/him is not the meaning of friendship. Either the person must get married to the same person or must be in love with him/her. Just for the sake of physical relationship having the so called girl\boy friend is bad in my opinion. I hope most of you will agree with me.
Crush is different from love. This differentiation should be brought about. What makes the difference? When you feel attracted towards a person that’s crush, or feel that the physic of that person is good and wish that you could do something with that person is crush or infatuation, which would disappear as you find another person better than the one you saw initially. While, when you are in love, you will be ready to do anything for this person. Like the story I told in the beginning, you will be able to love that person even if he\she is not in a position to reciprocate to your love.
Lack of care at home from parents, today’s demanding world requires both the husband and wife to work, yes true, but some how the parents should find time to talk to their kids, this talk is needed specially when the kid is a teenager, an age, when the child longs for, a good company. If that proves to be their mother or father it would prove to be great to the kid. When the kid is a teenager the parent should become their friend not a foe. This would change most of the pathetic situation of the teenagers in our country.
The last problem to be solved is the live-in system which is spreading like a canker in our country. This kind of system has its own flaws. Both the partners feel insecure about their relationship. They can’t have a proper family due to this fear in them. This kind of relationship just gives them a license to have sex nothing more than that. Any time they can part or looking on the positive aspect can even get married falling in love in the later stages. But in most of the cases the later doesn’t happen. I feel that youngsters who opt for such a living must think twice and only if they have ideas to get married to that person with whom they are gonna live with should they go for it.
Well these are the solutions which I could think of. If you have any do put in your thoughts in the comments section. See you folks.
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